Coffee Meets Bagel
Plenty of Fish
Thankfully, one-night stands stopped being a taboo topic in modern society. Let’s face it, sometimes your first date ends up being all about chemical attraction and quickly morphs into a hot one-night stand. A random hookup can be a fun and exciting experience if both partners know exactly what they want. A research conducted by Relationup in 2016 revealed that 59% of men and women thought hooking up on the first date had no impact on whether it would evolve into a long-term relationship. Once you’re sure that casual sex aligns well with your values, your needs, your desires, you can’t be shamed by anybody for enjoying your life and doing what feels right for you.
All of us at least once encountered sex-negative phrases (such as “the walk of shame”) forced by the sex-negative cultures. These phrases always imply that the only feeling one can have after a one-night stand is regret or shame. But we bet pretty much anyone who ever had a quality one-night stand can say that it can be an incredibly liberating and fun experience. There are many reasons why people will have a one-night stand, such as being horny, wanting to try something new, not wanting a relationship, craving those oxytocin and endorphins, etc. However, if you get attached too quickly, you’re looking for that one never-ending special relationship, or you suffer from performance anxiety, one-night stands just aren’t for you. The only right thing to do here is to be honest with yourself, choose what’s good for you, be respectful towards others, and don’t give a damn about what people think you can or can’t do. It’s your life, your body, and your choice.
Watch these seven beautiful women from Random Secret chat about their experiences with casual sex and one night stands:
If you’re confident in your sexuality, you know what you want, and you’re ready for a casual hook-up with no regrets, let’s look into some one-night stand rules.
Rule #1: Never expect a one-night stand to turn into anything serious
It’s easy to get carried away by awesome sex and to start falling for the other person. But you have to remember that one-night stands rarely grow into something serious. It’s always better to wait for 4-6 days after the hookup to get off that oxytocin high and check in with your real feelings. ONS are intended to be light and fun, and it’s better to keep your expectations in check. If something develops, great. If not, don’t think too much of it.
Rule #2: Be honest about your wants and needs in your dating profile
If you’re into online dating (who isn’t nowadays, right?) and you’re looking for a no strings attached kind of relationship, you have to make it clear in your profile. Don’t pretend to be looking for something you’re not into right now, in order to get into more action. Never say you’ll call or text if you don’t mean to. Never make any promises that you don’t plan on keeping. Respect both yours and other people’s choices, don’t make things overly complicated.
The internet offers multiple apps to look for ONS, but Pure is the best one so far. It’s designed for sex-positive people who are interested in hooking up. The app is built for a fun and easy experience. All you need to do is to download the app, sign up, upload your first request, and choose your perfect match among people in your area, and then you have an hour to chat; otherwise, the conversation disappears. The app has video chats with virtual masks that can make you feel comfortable opening up to a new partner. Pure guarantees privacy and safety to all of your calls, photos, and messages. If you decide to leave the unwanted conversation, all of the texts, photos, and videos will self-destruct. Besides, you’ll get a special notification each time your partner tries to take a screenshot of your conversation. And there’s one more thing – the app is free for women.
Rule #3: If your partner wants to hook up one more time, don’t mistake it for the first step to deepen the relationship
Having sex is fun, and having sex with you might be mind-blowingly hot for some people. Just deal with it. A follow-up contact doesn’t necessarily mean that your partner wants a serious relationship. They might want more casual sex but don’t have time or enerjy to look for somebody new at the moment. If you enjoyed your previous hook up and are ok with repeating it – you’re in luck. And never forget Rule #1.
Rule #4: Safety first
No matter how spontaneous and savage your ONS is, you need to think about safety first. Don’t expect that your hookup will bring protection, always have your own. This is your responsibility to be prepared, you can’t blame the other person.
Rule #5: Don’t overstay your welcome
If you have your hookup at their place, you need to be prepared to leave and leave soon. If your partner doesn’t invite you to stay the night, you need to have some cash for the taxi home. It’s totally normal for the other person not to be comfortable inviting you for a sleepover. They may be tired or need to process the experience, or whatever reason may be. However, if you get invited to stay the night, there’s nothing wrong with that too. A quick cup of coffee in the morning and maybe even a snack from their fridge might be totally fine, if that is what everyone involved wants.
Rule #6: Don’t be cold the morning after
There’s no need to be hugging and kissing all night long, but a little after-sex spooning or pillow talk is usually quite welcome. Perhaps it’s a good idea to discuss your intimacy limits with your hookup beforehand. If you spend the night together just have a lighthearted chat in the morning and a hot “thank you” kiss.
Rule #7: Be sure your apartment is clean
Your guest won’t feel comfortable if they’ll be questioning the sanitary conditions of your apartment. They’ll probably already feel vulnerable going to a stranger’s place to have sex.
Your guest will feel cheap and disrespected if you’re gonna bring them back from a party to a wildly disorganized and smelly place. Besides, dishes piled up in the sink are a universal turn-off. Try your best to have your one-night stand leave your apartment feeling happy and empowered.
Rule #8: Relax
You can only enjoy the whole ONS experience only if you’re comfortable and 0% nervous. You don’t want to make your partner feel uncomfortable and guilty for making you do something you’re not into. If you weren’t sure about it you shouldn’t have made the trip in the first place. That being said if you changed your mind or don’t feel comfortable with your partner at any point in time – just leave. The whole idea behind a random hook-up is that everybody has fun and enjoys themselves.
You'll crave for more!
Rule #9: All hickies should be in easily concealed locations
Everyone can get carried away in a moment of passion, but you don’t want your ONS waking up to a huge round, purple-red bruise right on their neck. You can’t be sure if they’re comfortable with walking around with a hickey, or not. So it’s always better to choose a strategic place where nobody will see it.
Rule #10: Don’t make any bad comments about their body or how they have sex
It seems like common knowledge but still worth mentioning. It’s never appropriate to comment on someone’s body, especially if a person is willing to open up to you and be in a vulnerable position. The truth is, no body is perfect, no mind is perfect — we’re all beautifully flawed. You never know what issues with body image a person has, so it’s better to stay away from such comments just to be on the safe side.
Rule #11: Don’t try to use your ONS partner to play out your kinks
When it comes to a one-night stand, you should always discuss your boundaries and sexual fantasies first. Don’t be afraid to bring up your kinks in a conversation with a partner, but always respect their needs and desires. If they say they’re not ready for such experiments, always respect their limits.
Rule #12: Be honest if you’ve had too much to drink
If you planned to go back to your place after a party with that special someone, but you realized that you might spend the rest of the night puking, please please please call the whole thing off or at least warn them that you had a bit too much to drink. Trust us, this is going to be the best decision. Needless to say, it’s always better to stay sober and be aware enough to make the right decisions throughout the night.