What’s Your Fantasy?

Dating tips
June 5, 2020

Fantasy sex is probably the most exciting topic that I like to discuss with people. Any people, whether those are my tipsy friends who are finally spilling the tea or a stranger at the bar who is trying to pick me up, even pick-up lines that are used on dating apps can tell you a lot about a person’s fantasy.

Yet someone, somehow, a long time ago, convinced us that our fantasies are something abnormal, that we should all hide it, never tell anyone about it, and never try it with anyone because people might think you are a freak!

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But guess what. Forbidden things magnetize you. The more the society says you cannot do something, the more you want to try it, even if it’s not your cup of tea. Same reason why the sex parties were created. Sexual freedom and the desire to explore have always been a part of human nature.

Let’s Talk Sexual Fantasies. Is It Freaky or a Regular Thing?

Shall we? Is your fantasy normal or freaky? How to answer that? Honestly, there is no right answer. Have a sexual fantasy to fulfill? Go for it. If you have a “weird” sexual fantasy, trust me, there are probably a lot of people who share the same interest.

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No matter what kind of fantasy you have — you are normal! Here is where we all have to remember to always mind our own business.

Sexual Fantasy 101

Believe it or not, but our sex fantasies have a very complex meaning behind it. However, I’m not gonna play psychologist with y’all. So if you want to get a deeper understanding of the meaning behind your sexual fantasies, I prepared a few articles from my favorite read Psychology Today. I think Justin J. Lehmiller Ph.D. is very accurate with his studies and it is easy to get to the point with him.

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Meanwhile, I will talk more about the most common sex fantasies among females and males. Also, I’ll take you through the main steps of preparation and basics. Remember that your fantasies do not necessarily define who you are nor your core life principles. Take it easy and just accept them.

Sex or Erotic Fantasy vs Fetish

Let’s also establish a difference between fantasy and fetish aka kink. Those are not the same. Fetish or a kink is a sexual fixation on an object or an act that is absolutely required for the person to get to the point of highest sexual gratification. Like foot fetish, for example, or bondage. Whereas a sex fantasy is still something that we have in our imagination first. We might go through with choosing porn because we like this or that sex idea. It can be about bondage and feet as well.

However, not all sex fantasies are supposed to become a kink or fetish. It can be something that you try and don’t like: a lot of my female friends didn’t get the point of anal sex and now are trying to avoid it. Or one time it felt weird but the second chance was worth it, like threesomes, because it mostly depends not only on the sexual desire but also on human vibes. Then, it could be an unexpected yet hella powerful release feeling, like that one time I was playing the dominatrix role with this guy. I wasn’t even into being dominant that much but decided to give it a try and OMG, that was revolutionary for me.

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The last one is a good example of where I was a part of someone else’s sex fantasy. Even though I never saw myself in such a role, I would try it again, yet it didn’t grow into a fetish or my additional kink.

Well, you get the point, now let’s dive in 18 most common sexual fantasies. Once again, all sex fantasies are totally normal to have. If you don’t want to strangle someone to death, your fantasies are fine! And for fuck’s sake, be respectful to anyone who is brave enough to share those sexual ideas with you.

Sex Fantasy. How To Deal With It?

So we established that any sex fantasy is cool and normal. Now how to deal with it? Make it a reality! It’s about damn time, ladies and gentlemen.

  • How to make it a reality? I wish I could say it is that simple and easy. However, it’s all in your hands. First things first, according to your fantasy, you need one or more people. In case you have a partner, you should approach him or her with your fantasies. It can be done in a joking sexting way. Or you can get a drink or two and get to the deeper conversations about your sexual fantasies if you haven’t done it yet. Or you can try it lightly during sex and see what their reaction would be.

But! If your fantasy is pegging, don’t place the entire strapon in your partner; go easy on that, as I’ve just said. Instead, try to play around his anus with your finger. Take it easy and slow, or you can traumatize him.

If you don’t have a regular partner you can always take a look a the dating apps. For instance, Pure is the hottest hookup app nowadays where you can simply post your ad (with or without a personal photo) and find like-minded people within 1000 km. I know a lot of my friends who are single and prefer hookup apps. Because if anything will go wrong between you two or three, you don’t have to see those people ever again. No ruined relationships or friendships. Pure is the app you want to try.

It is 100% for all the female users and as a male, you need to buy a subscription, anything from one week to one year. A year would cost you only fifty bucks, and you’ll see many active users who are free and looking for open-minded people to explore their sexual fantasies. I used to hear “Ad” and I would automatically think about Craigslist Personals. However, Pure took it to the whole new level. The combination of ads and its unique design makes it all so much more fun and naughty.

Once you download and try Pure for the first time, you won’t switch elsewhere.

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Being A Dominant As a Female

Being dominant is quite often a fantasy for a female. I’ve put together all three main domination activities that are considered as a dominatrix and how to approach these sex ideas with your partner.

  • So number one is making a man your bitch. Boss him around, become a madam. You can make him clean the house under your close supervision, and every time he misses the spot, you punish him (you guys can agree what the punishment is). As an example, you can make him eat you out every single time he does something that is not satisfying for his madam. Put your bitch on a tier too. That will spice things up.
  • Number two is oral sex. You have no idea how much females love to be eaten out. Not licked like men are terrified, but a proper head. Somehow, it is okay for a man to grab your face and go hard on your throat (don’t get me wrong, I’m loving it too), but when the female wants to ride a male’s face, men are suddenly scared that they are going to choke. I’m not here to tell you how to ride his face, but to tell you that it is okay.
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  • Number three is pegging. Pegging is when a female penetrates a male partner with a strapon. I tell you what, I understand how men feel now. The act is quite powerful and it’s a great stress-releaser. On the other hand, it is not that easy for a male side to confess that this is their fantasy as well. Almost the same as for a female to approach their partner with it. You can also check Vice for a one-time experiment story about pegging.

Rough and Controlling Sex

Pull, slap, spank, tied up hands on the back, and all similar is going to the fantasy about the rough sex. It is a myth that only men dream to take women hard. A lot of females have a fantasy to be taken hard and have a red handprint on their asses and bite marks all over their bodies. It’s all about control and being controlled. It is different from BDSM or any other similar kink. It is more simple and requires less preparation. I know a lot of women who would choose a rough “take me and fuck me hard” type of sex over “meh” slow sex. But those women are too shy to confess to their partners because any of them might “ruin” the image of a soft female. I think by 2020 we can assure ourselves that females can be both. Nasty flowers who read books and twerk. What’s bad about that?

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A lot of females have that fantasy about being raped. And there is nothing wrong with that if both have a consent agreement and one partner controls the other. Same as many men are afraid to hurt us too much, or they simply assume that women are “not like that.” Haha, we are exactly like that.

Anal Sex

Some time around 80’s anal sex was the number one on the sex charts. What do men really want in bed? Anal! Why do males love it and females don’t? Let me set it straight. It’s not like we don’t want to try it or have it every now and then. It’s just the preparation that gets us frustrated. And ladies, stop lying or be scared. Size does not matter for anal. You can fit in way more than you can imagine. Mood and lube are what actually matter.

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Oh, man! Such a common fantasy. Both genders would want to have a threesome that involves two females. No matter how much the world is accepting and tolerant now, two females are still more acceptable rather than 2 males. Talking about double standards here, yeah.

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Anyways, it is important to have people for a threesome that are matching each other’s energy and are willing to share and not be disgusted. If you don’t have anyone to do it with, you check out Pure as a helping tool. One ad “looking for a threesome MMF/MFF hit me up and let’s have fun” can work magic for you. I won’t lie to you, I’ve used it more than once for such purposes. Wink wink.

Double Penetration

Threesome is fun but not all would want to go with double penetration. Well, at least some of you would think so. You might be slightly wrong on this one. Double penetration is a common fantasy for her.

I guess it’s something about being double dominated, but mostly for double pleasure.

Yeah, you can use one penis and a toy, but two real penises inside at the same time make you a really, really bad girl. And it’s always fun to be a bad girl. If you haven’t tried it yet but always wanted, put it to your bucket list for the next month or so. Don’t keep your inner desires at the far shelf.

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Swingers Party

Another good example of something I never thought I’d try until I met this guy. Swingers club parties are cool. You meet new people, you see each other naked, and some clubs do offer you snacks.

If you are curious but not ready to have sex with a stranger, you don’t have to. That’s the beauty of it. You can just watch. Stare, wank on it, touch those people. It can actually bring up your marriage on a new level: a lot of couples go there to cheat on each other. But I think it’s better to discuss the cheating part and be honest with each other about it. Call me old-fashioned, but I do believe in both: it can ruin your relationship but also bring a new spark.

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If you have finally decided to bring this topic up with your partner, make sure both of you do understand that it is more of a one-time fantasy (at least for the first time) rather that it is something wrong and bad. There are a lot of open marriages and relationships. Just trust each other. If you don’t have trust and experiment fire, what are you doing together with this person?

Watching Your Partner Having Sex With Someone Else

I like this one and even though I haven’t tried it yet, I have it on my list and I get the idea behind. For me, cheating is more a mental thing rather than physical but I would love to see my man fucking another woman. I know a few guys who did the same with their wives. It’s the idea of your partner enjoying someone else. The same night I was in that swingers club, one of my friends (there were 6 of us) was approached by this mid-aged couple and they asked him to do the wife while the husband was watching.

My friend was skeptical at first, but how many offers like that do you get per day? My point exactly. He went and had a total blast!

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Public Sex

I think we all did it at a young age. Raise a hand who had sex in the public bathroom, in a part, next to the lake, on the beach, in a dark corner of the friend’s party, in the public pool, and trust me, I can go on and on. Although the public sex I’m talking about here is not only about having sex in a public place but also being caught by strangers. This is where the rush is. Being caught doing something “inappropriate” where someone can see you.

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A nurse and a naughty patient, a student and a teacher, and the list can go on. All these role-playing fantasies are an awesome way to experiment and play around, especially if you are not ready to share each other with others. Besides role-playing itself and changing outfits, and blah-blah, it is also an excellent way to bring any other sex fantasy in real-life. Most people think of role-playing as a one-time thing that will never repeat itself. So in my opinion, that’s the best approach to lightly implement other sex ideas.

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50 Shades Of Sexy and Romantic BDSM

If you haven’t watched movies or read a book, who are you? I remember when it just hit bookstore shelves and how every second female was obsessed with it. And not just because of the idea of having a billionaire, but also because it showed that BDSM is actually fun and not that forbidden.

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Now when E. L. James basically expressed her fantasy on the paper and we all got to read about it, the idea of trying BDSM became more open for discussion.

And this is where we lost poor men who had no clue what women wanted from them. Men thought they got us all figured out and then boom, we say “love me like Grey loves Anastasia”, and the dudes are lost.

Quick tip for you, my lovely male audience. Just read at least the first book. You will get the idea, and your woman will be happy.


Rimming is the oral stimulation of an anus of your partner. Too bad that only a few people would be open about this little fantasy. And even fewer people would find it acceptable to do this with their partner. Somehow it became normal for guys to rim women but not the other way around. Just to break it down for you real quick, a human’s anus has nearly 5,000 nerve endings. Now imagine how damn nice that would feel for both sides. So if that was your fantasy and you wonder how that would feel, just ask your partner.

It is better to be freshly out of the shower for the first time.

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Sex With A Total Strangers

There is something about this one that makes it kind of super forbidden but if we look around, we all did it. And the name for it is “hookup.” You’ve met and fucked. Here, you’ve done it.

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I’ll tell you what, there is some power behind it. Power and some animal instinct that gets satisfied. I see it, I like it, I want it, I get it. If you haven’t had a chance to have this fantasy of yours, in reality, download Pure right away and create an ad. Be straightforward and in no time you will get plenty of interested parties.

Romantic Sex

I know you came here to see all the dirty fantasies, but unfortunately, romantic sex is one of the abnormal things within our generation. Not only females but males as well, we are getting tired of fucking only. However, it does not mean sex in a missionary position for 10 minutes and then back on your side of the bed and snore. Slow sex can be amazing. Think of it as not the final destination but the journey itself, as a good way to chill and feel each other’s bodies.

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Sex With Someone Much Younger

Last year for my birthday I had this guy 8 years younger than me eating me out for 6 hours straight. Have I received a better bday gift ever? I can’t recall, honestly. Either way, we all hit that certain age when some relations might seem inappropriate. There is literally zero concern you should express rather than get all the orgasms and fun, plus make sure your younger partner is 18+.

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If you are looking for someone younger, Pure would do the job for you. Post your ad, get connected with people who liked your ad, and you liked theirs, and you will get at least a 24-hour chat window. Enough to get to know each other on a basic level, agree on a meetup spot and jump right into making your sex fantasy a reality.

Tantric Sex

Tantric Sex is a whole mood. This one might take you some preparation and you might want to have a partner you can trust. Some people practice celibacy for at least a couple of months before trying the tantric sex or any sex again. They say it gets even better. If you have decided to go full house on this one, you better read a few good articles on how to have tantric sex.

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Fantasy With Feet

The beginners’ version of the foot fetish itself. Most common within males being obsessed with female feet: licking them, sucking them, etc. Guess the biggest thing is to cum while being masturbated with feet. That’s not nasty, you would say. But ladies, the difficulty in here is that it is damn difficult to move your feet for that long. But rather than a little bit of physical strength and nice pedicure, you need no preparation.

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So many guys want their women to squirt. However, a lot of women cannot go through with that, but not because they can’t do it. It is because it takes a level of knowledge of the body and the trust between the partners. The secret is: before the sexual activities and when you feel like squirting — just relax.

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Golden Shower

I had a guy who wanted to golden shower on me. He was a military dude, and I place it on the same level as having power over someone else and being able to humiliate that person. Well, at least this is how he explained his desire to me. Long story short, Golden Shower is a form of foreplay also well-known as one of the punishments for the submissive partner in BDSM relationships. There are people who want to pee on someone and those who would gladly be on their knees getting covered with the golden shower. I was willing to give out my breasts as a one-time experiment thing. But wanted only to pee on my face. I drew the line there and said no. If you find golden shower cool and acceptable, I applaud you for being outspoken about it and being true to yourself.

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Sexual Fantasy Stories

I love juicy stories, and the deepest sexual fantasies or the ones that actually happened are my favorites! So I’ll share a few treasured ones with you.

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Source: BuzzFeed

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Source: BuzzFeed

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Girl, I keep a list of celebs in my drawer. Source: Thought Catalog

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Bottom Line

You know me well by this point, I hope, to know what I’m about to say. Whatever it is that you fantasize about, I want you to accept that and realize that you are totally normal! There is nothing wrong with you. Just like your partner reveals his or her fantasies to you, you have the full right to not agree to them. Like with a Golden Shower story, if you are not ready to go all the way in that, it’s okay as well.

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As many of us, I don’t have a partner to try my fantasies with, so I know we are in need to find those like-minded people to go through with it and have fun, go with Pure. It is simple, affordable, and users are very candid.


I want to pee on my partner. Is that weird?

No, it is not weird, your fantasy is totally normal. You should bring the topic up in a flirty text or as a real punishment. If you don’t have a partner, you can find one through a dating app that is focused on hookups. You’d be surprised how many people there are with the same fantasies as yours.

Where is the best place to find a one-time partner for my sexual fantasies?

Pure is the app you should keep in mind always for those kinds of purposes. After registering, you can place an ad where you write about your fantasies and get connected with people who are looking to explore their inner desires as well.

Is having multiple sexual fantasies normal?

Of course, it is! You can have as many sexual fantasies as you want. there are no limits. There are also no limits on making those to come true in real life.

I’m shy to talk to my partner about my sexual fantasies. What is the other way to approach?

You can start with a flirty sext where you ask what-if questions, just to get the sense of the reaction and mood in general. You can also get a bit tipsy and try simple stuff in person.

I’m looking for a BDSM partner. Where to get people who are interested?

Pure is the app for all people who are ready-steady to experiment. Besides Pure you can try AdultFriendFinder and FTL.


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