Somewhere in the middle of the Indonesian jungle, I’ve met a guy who witnessed the internet coming to the remote village for the very first time. Right after the first wave of distrust and excitement calmed down, he said, everyone got addicted to porn. Almost immediately all the men in the village, from young guys to respectable seniors, started watching adult movies. Sometimes even on their lunch break, not being bothered by others in the room like it’s some kind of National Geographic documentary. The women were more discreet but there’s no way they’ve missed out on that, either.
This proves one thing: everyone with access to the internet watches porn. And most of those who say they don’t are hiding the obvious. While there is no reason to say that watching porn is bad, in some cases it is not healthy. Multiple studies on the subject keep on delivering different data, so it is easy to get confused. However, there are a few insights that may shed light on the issue.
Why Porn is Bad
Just to get things clear: most likely, there is nothing wrong with you even if you watch adult movies a little more than an average person. But if you feel uncomfortable or guilty, there could be a problem. There are a few things that you need to keep in mind when analyzing your relationships with adult movies.
Unrealistic Expectations
The most common problem with watching porn is that it has nothing to do with reality. Even though we live at times when body positivity is trending, the majority of the models do not look like average people. Plastic surgery, long hours in the gym, a strict diet, and exceptional physical characteristics are the actors’ tickets to the top.
Not all women squirt so don’t get offended or take it personally if your partner doesn’t. And if you’re a woman, don’t think there is something wrong with you if you’ve never experienced that in your life. The porn industry has clearly exaggerated this phenomenon. We also don’t orgasm that easily and not a lot of people enjoy putting large objects in their anus. But if you do, that’s totally fine, just make sure not to hurt yourself. Guys, in turn, might feel intimidated by comparing their size with the size of a porn star dude. The average erect penis is about five in (13 cm), and instead of worrying about it being too small, focus on improving your technique.
People don’t have porn-like sex, and that’s ok. We’re all unique and have different pleasure points. Real-life sex is a lot clumsier and much more satisfying. Most likely, porn videos will not teach you how to do it but you can borrow some ideas.
Unsocial Behavior
Porn is not the root of evil; however, it can be a powerful trigger for people with deep emotional issues. One of America’s most prolific serial killers, Ted Bundy, blamed pornography for all his horrible deeds:
“I would keep looking for more potent, more explicit, more graphic kinds of material. Like an addiction, you keep craving something which is harder, something which gives you a greater sense of excitement. Until you reach the point that pornography only goes so far.”
He also mentioned that some of the most violent fellow-prisoners admitted to watching porn. However, this logic is broken. Almost 40 million Americans are watching explicit content online and yet it doesn’t make them go out on the streets and hurt people. Regular porn that involves consensual adults can hardly make anyone with stable mental health do horrible things. Hardcore porn that portrays real-life violence, exploits underage participants or animals and involves other illegal activities is a whole different story. This thing is dark, avoid that.
When Watching Porn Becomes an Addiction
And there are always people who overdo it. Sex addiction is a thing and pornography is not making it any better. Study shows that people spend from 20 to 110 minutes weekly on watching adult content and there are three main types of porn users.
The first and the largest group makes 75% and mainly consists of women and people in relationships. They are so-called ‘recreational users’ who spare around 24 minutes per week to watching porn. Usually, they are highly satisfied with their sexual life and healthy approach to sex. And then there are two other groups that struggle with dysfunction, are not satisfied with their sex life, and show signs of avoidance and distress. One of these two not-so-healthy groups admitted to watching less than 17 minutes of porn weekly, while the second group manages to find more than 110 minutes for their guilty pleasure.
So when you should start being worried? Although there is no clear answer on how much time you should spend on watching porn weekly, if you think that it’s taking over your life or feel too ashamed to admit it or avoid sex whatsoever, you might consider talking to a professional about it.
The Benefits of Watching Porn
But let’s address the bright side. As we’ve mentioned earlier, there is a group of people who watch porn regularly and remain happy, healthy, and satisfied. So what’s their secret? Is porn really not as bad? Are there any secret benefits? As a matter of fact, there are plenty!
Porn Can Help You with Your Love Life
If you’re in a long-term relationship, you know that sex can get less exciting with time. Ask your partner how do they feel about switching from your usual Netflix session to watching an adult movie this evening. Chances are, your significant other will support this idea and your night might become a lot more thrilling.
Watching porn together as a couple may help you understand each other better. Due to the way they’ve been raised up or just because of the overwhelming sense of taboo, some people do not feel comfortable talking about their fantasies. Opening up even to themselves is hard enough, not to mention exposing these feelings in front of your partner. Porn might help with overcoming fears. When you watch other people doing something that you really like, subconsciously you feel that it’s ok to do the same.
As long as your partner feels comfortable with it, spending some quality time while watching x-rated movies can take your sex and love life on a different level.
It Can Make You Come More Often
Although it is usually considered to be women’s problem, men can have issues just as much. For some people, it is incredibly hard to relax and enjoy the ride, especially if they have sex with a new partner. And it is true that a woman’s orgasm is a complicated matter so it might take a while until your partner masters female masturbation techniques.
Luckily, you don’t have to wait until you trick your brain to chill out and let the pleasure in. You can just go online, pick your favorite kink, turn the video on, and come as fast as you wish. There’s nothing bad about enjoying yourself. We’re carrying way too much pressure on our shoulders and quick orgasm can work wonders. Just don’t forget that sex is even more fun when there’s another person involved.
Increasing Your Libido
There have been many studies around porn and how we react to it. Quite a few surveys came to contradictory conclusions. And while some of us still think that watching porn will negatively affect our desire to engage in real-life action and lead to erectile dysfunction, one research showed that, in fact, watching porn raises libido.
Chances are that if you deliberately denied yourself the pleasure of watching x-rated videos, you’re probably missing out on sex with a partner too. According to the study, men who watched at least 2 hours of porn were keener on engaging in sex with a partner.
Learn More About Sex and Sexuality
Adult movies can give you a lot of ideas about what you like. The topic of sex and sexuality is still taboo and most of us are not that open-minded to casually discuss it, let alone go to a sex-therapist. Nowadays, porn is accessible and can become a great source of inspiration.
But don’t use porn websites as a replacement for proper sex education. What looks good on the screen might not be as rewarding in real life. Remember, those people have practiced intensively before they could put those large objects in different places. The best strategy is to take the best out of the fantasy and make it work in real life.
And if you want to try some of these exciting new things that you’ve never done before but have no partner, you can always find them on Pure. Pure is a dating app that can help you find a partner in crime and will keep your fantasies discreet at the same time. You post an ad saying what you’re looking for and browse through the ads of others. If you both like each other, you can start chatting, exchanging voice messages and pictures, sexting, and being as naughty as you want. If your partner tries to take a screenshot, you’ll be notified and can leave the conversation whenever you want. In 24 hours the chat will be deleted automatically like nothing ever happened — unless you both decide to continue.
Watching Porn Instead of Cheating
You might be head over heels about your partner or live a long and happy family life together but there’s just one thing that they don’t want to do. And that’s exactly what you crave for. Forbidden fruits often seem to be the sweetest until we give them a try.
So if you have a special kink like BDSM or anal sex and your better half wants to do nothing with it, you have three choices. Suppress this desire, find somebody else to do it with, or watch videos of other people doing this. While the first two options will most likely not end well, porn can become an obvious solution.
You can even ask your partner to watch it together and who knows, they might even change their mind.
What Does Science Say
Apparently, there is a part of our brain called the striatum. It becomes active when we receive rewards and, in particular, when sexual pleasures are involved. A couple of MRI studies proved this idea by using a group of men that were shown a series of erotic images. The goal was to see how their brain reacts. Those men who felt they watch too much porn showed a lot more activity in the striatum area in comparison with those who didn’t.
One of the theories suggests that the more people stimulate this ‘pleasure area of the brain’, the more often they have to do it in the future. Another hypothesis is based on the size of the striatum: the smaller it is, the more stimulation it needs to get satisfied.
If you want to learn more about those researches, watch this YouTube video:
The majority of porn-related studies and researches are correlations and it is hard to say how accurate they are. The study subject is controversial and not everybody will feel comfortable sharing such private information. The participants have to be open enough and that kind of decreases testing integrity.
Conclusion
Is porn bad? Definitely not. It has a lot of benefits, both mental and physical. In fact, some studies show that once access to porn became easier, the rate of violent crimes went down. If you realized that you view way too many adult movies, take a break.
Addictions are unhealthy, although we all struggle with them. The trick is to learn how to control them. Also, if watching porn makes you feel uncomfortable, depressed, or full of guilt it might be a sign that you’re overdoing it.
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FAQ
Is watching porn bad?
There is no clear answer to whether watching porn is bad or good for you. Watching hardcore porn that involves real-life violence, minors, or other prohibited activities is illegal and you may be locked up for that. But if you’re adult with a healthy love life, watching porn can be beneficial.
Why watching porn is bad?
In general, watching porn is ok. Unless you feel guilty, uneasy, addicted, or simply uncomfortable, there is nothing wrong with it. Make sure not to spend too much time (and money) on adult websites and don’t forget that nothing can compare to the real deal.
Is porn good for you?
Porn can be good for several reasons, including improving your sexual life in relationships, getting orgasms easily, increasing libido, and learning more about sex and sexuality. Treat it as a source of inspiration and you’ll be rewarded.
How common is watching porn?
According to some surveys, seven out of ten men and five out of ten women watch porn on a regular basis. It is estimated that in the US more than 40 million people use adult materials for various reasons from boredom to curiosity to the most obvious ones.
How do I know if I’m addicted to porn?
If you feel you have a problem, then you most likely have it. When watching porn makes you feel guilty, uncomfortable, and it affects the quality of your life, it is time to analyze how much time you actually spend on it. Cannot imagine a day without your favorite adult website? Well, that’s a major red flag.