Here we are, the 21st century, the era of freedom, female empowerment, and yet things are weird around women expressing themselves and treating them with respect.
We used to hear that being a slut is something terrible — we were raised that way. A good girl is what all around want you to be. Your parents will be disappointed: what people would say about you, you better consider that. No man will want to marry you if you will be a slut or behave like one. I think it sounds familiar.
Now let’s stop for a second and think about what you want. Why being a slut is bad? I’m sure we’ve all, at least once, met and know exactly what is a male slut, and no one shames them. Instead, they say how awesome they are, and no one calls them a slut — they call it macho, casanova, and life-winner. The minute I start debating about it within my male friends, all I get is that annoying story about the key and the lock. Key is awesome if it can open many locks, yet lock is not that trusted because all keys can fit it and open it. I’ve never heard anything more ridiculous, and a lot of people call it logical.
I’m so tired of hearing what I should do with my own body and my life, that I will break it down on how to be an amazing slut and be damn proud of it!
What is behind slut meaning
Before exploring all possible ways on how to be who you are, let’s see what the definition of a slut is.
A slut — a woman who has sexual relationships with a lot of men without any emotional involvement, as the Cambridge dictionary claims. And also an untidy one. But we trained better, and we know a bit more of the information that is hiding behind it.
Insulting social meaning of being a slut
In addition to the “main” meaning, slut also means that a woman has a lot of sexual partners throughout her lifetime. She most likely has multiple sexual partners at the same time, aka she has a sex problem, aka her vagina will be loose. No normal woman would enjoy sex so much, and god forbid, she would be proud of it. And my favorite, she is always dressed provocatively.
Sometimes, social opinion puts sluts below prostitutes. Sex workers, at least doing it to get paid. You are doing it for free. If every single time I got a dollar for being called a slut, I would be a wealthy slutty woman by now.
The word slut is so complex on the level of social disrespect. You can be a total virgin, which is cool, if that’s what you want to do, and still be called a slut. Just because of her “inappropriate behavior” or because someone thinks that her skirt is too short of makeup is too bright. Again, it is someone else’s opinion, which doesn’t even fucking matter.
Sometimes, I think that the word was created to bully women and keep them on a short social leash. Right where most females were for hundreds and hundreds of years. But again, there are no particular numbers that apply with the definition of a slut.
Do multiple partners mean more than 5 or more than 100? How do strangers know how many sexual partners you’ve had without even knowing your name? Does being a slut require having two men at the same time in bed or dating two men defines that meaning? Does it mean I’m a slut if I have lots of sex with my boyfriend or husband? How many inches my skirt should be that I will be considered a good girl for once? What share of red lipstick is forbidden? Am I a slut because I haven’t dated anyone in a long time for longer than a month? Am I a slut if my best friend having sex with multiple men? Am I a slut just because I speak up my mind, don’t care about yours, and minding my own business?
You get the point. Even Mary Magdalene was a saint before someone throughout made her look like a slut. The list of those questions can go on and on. But instead of stressing out, how about we think about reclaiming that weird meaning of being a slut.
Reform of the word slut
The minute women raised their voice and thought, “You know what, I think that’s enough,” the revolution of the word slut had begun. Even though it still has a long way to go, stop for a second, and look around. Look how far we’ve come. Feminists all over the world stood up and united in changing the tradition and labeling new meaning to the word “slut.”
A lot of women call their girlfriends sluts in honor of them being open about their inner character and not being ashamed of it. Womanhood puts the word slut on a pedestal. It is treated with respect. We are equal, we do love sex, and we won’t be disrespected for it and won’t even think to apologize for being ourselves. There are “slut walks” that are happening to raise money and awareness about the topic.
Unfortunately, these changes won’t happen after one protest or in a year. But we have a good start and have our inner power to get what we want. One of them is expressing ourselves and being sluts if that’s what we want inside.
Slut guide. The true power behind being a slut
There are three main ways you can express you are a slut by choice and show them all why it’s power. You can be a slut by embarrassing your sexuality and have as much of a physical connection with as many people as you want or be as kinky as you want in bed with your regular partner.
Express your slutty personality with your looks, which includes clothes, makeup, and hair. Last but not least, your mentality and confidence. I’ve heard some people saying I was a slut because I was too confident with my personality and my sexuality. I could get angry, but instead, I take it as a compliment. Remember how Monica Belucci, in the Malena movie, walked down the street with complete confidence. That should be you regarding what people think or say.
How to master slutty behavior
You can wear any clothes, put all kinds of makeup, and have 10 red lipsticks in your purse. If you feel silly while doing it — you started from the wrong step.
You have to be confident about who you are and why you are slutty. Your confidence should enter the room before your body does. Your body should speak fluent slut. And as we, smart girls, know that the body gets all the orders from brain impulses. Focus there.
Take a moment and think it through. Try to understand how you want to express that slutty mindset. Remember that slut is usually the woman who is raw open and honest with herself. Here where we go back to some cinematographic examples that would give you the idea.
Monica Belucci embraced her Malena character and showed people in her village exactly what they wanted to see — a slut. She walked through the square slowly, letting them whisper behind her back as much as they could. She did it with dignity and confidence. Also, note that everyone was scared of her beauty, so they decided to bring her down to their personal and very ugly earth. Lesson learned. Jealousy.
Our favorite Samantha Jones in iconic Sex and the City. Was she a slut? Oh yes, one of the most empowering sluts in the history of my time growing up. I didn’t look up to Carry; I was inspired by how Samantha was talking control of who she was. She was a man in a skirt, a lot of people would say and compare her character. She showed that women don’t need men in their lives. You can save yourself, without a Prince Charming character. Lesson learned. Bossy and successful slut who loves sex doesn’t care about social opinion and can have any man she wants even in her 50s.
Another great example is Dina from the Girls Trip movie, where Tiffany Haddish showed us how to own it and be our-true-selves. If you haven’t seen the movie, Google the scene with grapefruit, and you will get the point. Worth learning a thing or two.
That’s just a few examples out of hundreds. You don’t have to create the mindset to be slutty. If your nature is slutty, you already have inside of you.
You need to throw all that social rubbish rules from your head and finally live your life the way you want it.
How to become a slut by picking up the outfit
Now let’s pick some outfits. Fashion shows are now setting the trend for oversized, but no one says the entire outfit should be three times bigger than you. You can combine and still be sexy af: wear a mini skirt and oversized blouse but leave 3 upper buttons unbutton.
If you have a chance to hire a stylist — do it. Explain how you feel and what you want to express and let them help you out. If you don’t have time, money, or whatever it is — Pinterest, Instagram, and similar apps will help you to browse and find what you are looking for.
Fashion aside. You can dress up in whatever you want to. Tight and short dress, low-cut top, short shorts, and very high heels. If you already wear it all and more — great job! If not, but that sounds like your dream — go for it.
It’s all in your head, and you have to get rid of it. Like you don’t even have to see an issue within this topic anymore. If you want to buy high heel high boots and your friend judges your choice by saying “you would look like a slut”… first of all, tell her you are a damn proud slut and buy boots. Also, get yourself new friends. Those who won’t care how slutty you dress up and how many dicks were inside of you throughout your lifetime.
The best makeup that is going with anything is a natural one. You can play around: add lipstick and highlighter — both make everything better. Makeup should be the one that would suit you, your face shape, and your skin one. Girl, YouTube makeup tutorials were created just for that!
How to act like a slut while you talk
I say flirting is your Bible now. With all the dirty lines pointed out with a yellow marker. Don’t stop, won’t stop repeating — confidence is the key. You have to have enough gut, as some might say, to come to a man and make small flirting talk.
I’ll break it down for you. Nearly 98% of straight men would love for women to come along and initiate the conversation. It doesn’t mean that you would look desperate or whatever you hear, that means you are an equal hunter and want some fresh meat.
Another trick is your look. One glaze at a guy from you should get his attention. Repeat that interested look eyes to eyes two-three times, and he will come drooling to you by himself.
How to be slutty in bed aka how to be a slut for your men
You can be a perfect slut and yet sleep only with one man. Although it ruins all the “social meaning about being a slut,” that is possible. Here are the main tips on how to be a good slut in bed.
You can and should have any sex in any way you want. Take all the advice from the above and, of course, include sex, lots of sex. You both might have serious jobs where you wouldn’t be able to wear as much as you would like to but who said there should be rules in your bedroom.
You can give sloppy blowjobs and drive him crazy by turning into a real-life porn star or dominate and ride his face. Either way, a porn star is an awesome example.
Intense and all possible sex in all possible positions. We are not here to please men, but those who are by our side dream to call you their “little slut” in bed. Learn the sex positions for best orgasms, and I dare you to try them all. Try kinky sex. All you can think of and always wanted to try — go for it. There are no limits.
Slut-shaming and how to avoid it
Slut-shaming is quite a new term for an old school bitchy behavior. The main goal is to get respect and freedom that women deserve. And that respect of their own choice.
It’s not that easy to form one portrait of the person who can slut-shame, or it’s impossible to predict the place and time where that could happen. I think it could happen in the line to the cashier at the sex store while both of you are buying the same dildo.
Same as the fact that the men, for instance, would rarely have anyone calling them sluts. They don’t wear short skirts, true on that, although they’ve been practicing slut behavior and never got to walk a mile in our shoes. We could all start calling them sluts now, but what’s the point? Pointing out fingers to men who sleep with whoever they want and call boo? That won’t make us better. Why don’t we rather focus on us and our lives instead of getting to a lower level? Like a wise human said, mind your damn business. Here is what you can do to avoid slut-shaming.
The best way to avoid it — ignore it. People might say take offense of your look or behavior just because they don’t like something about you. But in the world where you are a perfect peach, there still will be a person who hates peaches.
Everyone should start with their inner self. We cannot be nor call ourselves a progressive human race if we still pick up on women’s bodies and the way they look to make something inside feel better or whatever those people feel.
If that is difficult for you to proceed with the thought on how to lose those chains and ignore — repeat this as your slutty mantra.
You can’t control what people think about you.
You can’t let people ruin your self-esteem and your character because they say you are a slut.
You have to be true to yourself. Drink water and mind your slutty business.
Real-life slut-shaming stories
Every woman at least once had that awful experience. I’ve decided to share some of them below. Those are stories of brave women who were open and kind enough to share them.
“I was slut-shamed hardcore in high school. It messed with me a lot. I had an ex who was older and pressured me into a lot of stuff. He sent everyone nudes, and people printed and passed them out. Needless to say, the slut-shaming got worse. My own boyfriend, who I dated for two years in high school, slut-shamed me. He tried to make me feel ‘dirty’ and bad about sleeping with other guys before him.”
Samantha, 27
“I have previously been slut-shamed by my own husband when he’s been drunk and angry and have come home from the bar looking good, and it kills me because it is a reflection of his own insecurity. He knew that I was ‘that kind of girl’ when he walked into this relationship. It’s not like I was shy about my past, but it sucks that I can’t laugh about it with him. It’s very much a double standard because he was no better when he was single.”
Jen, 27
“The other night, me and my friends go out. There are six of us. We’re in the VIP. We’re having a great time, twerking, and whatnot. This fucker starts throwing ice at us — literally, throwing ice at us. Calling us names. We have no idea who this guy is. So what do we do? Continue to twerk. There’s no shaming these sluts. At first, we got a little pissed, but then we were like, ‘You know what? He’s a fucking dick. We didn’t come here to worry about how he feels. We came here to have a good time.’ So we continued to have a good time. And we saw that guy later, walking by his fucking self because he didn’t have anybody to hang out with because he was such a douche.”
Tanjanae, 26
“In high school, I remember there was one rumor where I gave someone a blow job in a McDonald’s restaurant, which was completely not true. And I was like, ‘How do you come up with these things?’ You’re going out of your way to creating a story about me… It made me feel sad because even some of my own friends were saying it. And I would stop doing what I was doing because I felt so bad about myself because people were making me feel like I was dirty. When, really, I don’t think I am dirty. I’m here. This is me. Just take me for who I am. It took me years to get to this point. I had such low self-esteem. Now I don’t care what people say.”
Alysse, 23
The bottom line
The more people, the more opinions on this topic there could be. I bet hundreds would be furious by reading this and say who I think am I to say my opinion out loud and encourage other women to be sluts. Some would be shy or scared to admit they agree with it even though they don’t consider themselves as sluts. And some would say out loud, “Yes, bitch! Damn right!”
Nevertheless, keep in mind that it’s your life and no one, but you have to live it. Make it fun and memorable, not for someone but you. Stay slutty, my favorite slut!
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FAQ
What does it mean to be a slut?
A slut is a female who is empowered by her sexuality and personality. She can live her life openly and free regarding the social standards of the woman. Slut enjoys sex as much as men, and not afraid to talk about it.
Is being a slut good or bad?
Society would make you believe it’s horrible. We think it’s beautiful and good. You have the right to be and do whatever you want. In conclusion — being a slut is amazing if that’s what you want to do.
What if other people would call me a slut?
You should be proud and ignore those people. Word “slut” is usually used as a bad word, but it doesn’t mean you can’t change it for yourself.