Full guide to edging for men and women

Dating tips
February 5, 2020

Getting frequent orgasms is a sexual dream for any woman. The real pros, however, aim for quality rather than quantity. What if you could hold back for a while, and then get the biggest orgasm you’ve ever had? What if there was a way to deliver both you and your partner an orgasm that would accumulate several small ones? There is a method for that — it’s called edging.

What is edging

Edging is a process of getting excited during sex but yet stopping yourself from cumming. The more orgasms you can stop at the pre-cum stage, the better the final experience will feel. You need to drive yourself almost to the edge, but not actually orgasm. It’s as if you are driving right to the cliff, but don’t jump off it.

Edging allows men and women to prolong sex and get stronger orgasms, as opposed to getting a lot of mediocre ones. Also, some men tend to finish late, and in this case, holding an orgasm back is a way to synchronize your rhythm with the partner.

Reasons to do edging

At first, edging might seem counterintuitive. You aren’t wrong there — edging could make sex feel a lot worse if you aren’t approaching it correctly. However, if you get it right, you’ll get a much more exciting experience that’s going to make all the hold-ups worth it.

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Edging feels good both for men and women

Let’s take a look at the main benefits of edging.

Prolonging your sex

Edging is a way to extend your sexual pleasure because you get more control over when exactly you will cum. Some women orgasm much faster than others, and their partners didn’t reach their excitement level yet. As a result, the girl orgasms earlier, and then has to fake yet another orgasm to be in sync with her partner. Edging allows you to truly orgasm together and enhances the quality of your orgasms while you are at it.

Getting control over orgasms

If you struggle with premature ejaculation or feel like your orgasms aren’t too bright, edging can be the simplest way to fix it. For one thing, you can regulate the timing of orgasm by holding back on the initial urges to cum. Also, you can prolong the play stage instead of rushing right to the finish.

Making sex play better

Edging builds up suspense for both partners. With each new urge, both people feel the excitement and anticipation — what’s the ultimate orgasm going to be like when it finally comes? It’s a great way to rediscover tried-and-proven positions and bring diversity into your sexual life.

Is edging harmful

Technically, edging isn’t harmful by itself. However, if you hold orgasms back for too long, you can have high blood pressure, damage blood vessels in your genitalia. For women, the consequences of edging are less harmful than for men. Guys also risk getting testicle inflammation, and even potentially increase the chance of prostate cancer.

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Edging doesn’t carry health risks, especially if done right

If you edge up to the point where you feel pain from muscle tension, you can get spasms and strains. But, as long as you don’t overdo it, you should be fine.

Most common myths about edging

Edging has a lot of misconceptions surrounding it. A lot of people misunderstand the risks of edging and worry that it might disrupt their natural sexual activity. Let’s take a look at the most common opinions about edging that aren’t entirely true.

It’s the same as delayed ejaculation

Edging is a deliberately delayed ejaculation, whereas “classical” delayed ejaculation isn’t controlled. Delayed ejaculation is a condition where a man can’t ejaculate, or they need more stimulation to orgasm. In such cases, a patient needs about 30 minutes of foreplay to get the orgasm.

Delayed ejaculation isn’t always regular. A lot of men get delayed ejaculation, also known as anorgasmia, occasionally depending on their stress level and health state. Edging can’t lead to getting the medical condition — delayed ejaculation is linked to the set of particular physiological conditions that aren’t linked to edging.

Men get semen back into their body during edging

This is one of the most common myths about edging. A lot of men are afraid that their sperm will be returned to their bodies and expel into kidneys, bladder, or anywhere else. This is not possible. Sooner rather than later, you’ll release semen and reach an orgasm.

If you don’t ejaculate, the fluid will be broken down into structural components and recycled on the anatomical level. It’s a healthy process, and it won’t harm adjacent organs.

Edging can lead to an inability to orgasm

Men and women alike often worry that edging will lead to forgetting how to orgasm altogether. In reality, as long as you don’t overdo it and cause some long-term physical damage, your orgasms will be safe. If anything, you’ll be getting more control over your orgasms, not less.

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Edging doesn’t lead to orgasm issues

What is edging in masturbation and during sex

Edging is a universal technique: you can do it on your own when you are masturbating or try it out with a partner. I encourage trying out edging for the first time when you are on your own.

Stop the stimulating effect

It’s much easier to stop the orgasm from coming if you also cease the stimulating action. Whenever you feel that you are getting to the edge, stop masturbation and relax. Feel how the wave of excitement slowly rolls back. When the urge to orgasm decreased — but didn’t pass completely — start the stimulation again.

You want to roll one orgasm on another while avoiding either releasing or stopping the excitement altogether. The more orgasms you accumulate, the stronger the edge will be.

Try different orgasmic techniques

The rule of thumb is, don’t do the techniques that are likely to make you orgasm. If you know that clitoral stimulation always drives you to orgasm, don’t do it. Instead, work with other erogenous zones that provide you with some stimulation that is not high enough to create orgasms.

You can change the way you penetrate your vagina or touch your clitoris, avoid G-spots, and start with oral sex. In short, the idea is to be sexual without overdoing it.

Distract yourself from orgasms

Rough sex is handy if you need to distract yourself from orgasming. A rough slap or pinch can easily throw you off the cum, giving you a sudden distribution. Sudden loud sounds and screams can also do the trick. If your partner suddenly knocks loudly while you were getting there, you are likely to stop feeling the urge.

Focus on slow stimulation

Don’t rush into your most erogenous spots and avoid intense movements. Tender firepot and gender fingering will allow you to get into the process and accumulate the build-up of sexual excitement. Slow music and fantasizing help to keep your mind off physical sensations and add more context to your stimulation.

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Good edging starts when you know how to take your time

How can men edge

If you want to help your man delay his orgasm, you need to talk about his feelings and hold up your stimulation. Again, the priority is to keep being sexual without aiming to get the orgasm. Here is the rundown of my favorite edging techniques that women can apply to make their men edge.

Block his scrotum

If your partner is about to cum, you need to stop the ejaculation by putting your thumb near his scrotum. It will prevent his ejaculation and will most likely stop the orgasm, too — although, sometimes they can happen separately.

Control your sex

To have more power over when and how your man will cum, choose positions that allow you to control the pace and intensity of the stimulation. My favorite one is the cowgirl. You need to get on top of his penis and start riding him up and down or back and forth. Try different types of stimulation to see what works better for both of you.

Introduce the edging scale

You need a control system, so both of you can measure the level of his excitement. Use numbers from 1 to 10 to describe how close he is to orgasm. When he’s about to get off, assign the number 9 to work. When your partner feels like he is nearing the cum, ask him to shout out the number, so that you can stop the stimulation.

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Common edging problems

Getting edging right takes time and practice — by yourself at first. Be prepared that at the beginning you will only be able to stall a couple of orgasms. Your ability to hold back depends on how much practice you have and how well you know your own body and what makes it orgasm.

However, even though edging issues are individual and depend on a particular person, there are certain problems that most women face. Here’s the list of the most common edging challenges for women and tips on how to overcome them.

You can’t hold the orgasm

If you have no control over when you cum, this usually means that the stimulation is too strong. If you are masturbating, stop moving altogether — the feeling should pass after a couple of seconds. If you have sex with your partner, ask him to stop. To add distraction, he can spank you or pink your skin — you will focus on that instead of feeling the pleasure.

You don’t orgasm easily

Edging can be problematic if you have difficulties with having orgasms altogether. Luckily, there is a solution. The most obvious one is to stimulate your G-spot — it’s a spot located in the back vaginal wall that gives the most powerful orgasms to women. Another solution is getting a clitoral piercing — it’s a long-term measure for making orgasms more frequent and brighter.

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Edging actually can help you orgasm better because you’ll have more control over this sensation

You are bored

For many women, if sex delivers no orgasms, there is no point in doing it. If you are doing the same old techniques but only hold back when you’d usually cum, you will get bored in no time.

However, there is a solution. You can try different simulation techniques that, while no delivering orgasms, will still be very much exciting. You can experiment with vaginal stimulation, clitoral fingering, butt plugs. When you don’t need to orgasm, you have the freedom to try out all kinds of techniques.

You try to edge all the time

One of the most common mistakes women make after being introduced to edging is practicing it all the time. It becomes exhausting, and sex loses its joy. At the end of the day, you will forget how it feels to have a spontaneous, quick cum, and sex will be a tedious chore. Don’t cross that line and vary edging orgasms with normal spontaneous stimulation.

What men think about edging?


What is sexual edging?

Edging is a way of having sex when you are holding back your orgasms and not let yourself cum during sex. Women and men can stimulate themselves sexually, but this activity shouldn’t lead to orgasms. The goal is to accumulate pleasure from multiple pre-orgasms and get one big orgasm at the end.

How to edge a man?

Choose positions that give you control over the pace and intensity of your sexual activities. I recommend cowgirl — you sit on top of him and start bouncing up and down or back and forth. As soon as your man is nearing the orgasm, you will stop moving, and the urge will likely pass in a few seconds.

What is gay edging?

Gay edging isn’t different from straight edging. The concept is absolutely the same: you need to stop stimulation before the partner orgasms.

Is edging bad for your health?

No, it’s not if you don’t overdo it. Don’t try to stop 5-6 orgasms in a row, especially if you are only starting. Firstly, focus on 2-3 orgasms at a time and slowly increase the quantity.

What is edging slang, and how can I practice it?

Sexual edging is holding the process of orgasming to prolong sexual activity and receive brighter orgasms. Start practicing edging during masturbation. When you feel like you are about to get off, stop the stimulation and hold cumming back. When you know how to edge on your own, let the partner join you.

How to edge while masturbating?

Be careful with your movements and feelings. If you already know what stimulation makes you most prone to orgasms, avoid using these techniques. Instead, experiment with moves that you didn’t try before. Drive yourself almost to the edge of orgasm, but stop right away.


Edging is not as complicated as it sounds. With several tries, you will get the hang of it, and you’ll find a way to enjoy the process. It’s safe both for you and your partner.

If you want to try it during sex, discuss the details with your partner first. The safest strategy is implementing a scale that measures the orgasm level. This way, you’ll both be on the same page and will be able to regulate your intensity. Don’t worry if you can’t get there from the first try. Practice makes perfect — so just do it.

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