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Female domination has always been a popular topic, somewhere behind the scene and surface. To find inspiration, you had to search through tons on forums and hidden blogs that won’t be appropriate to open in public.
We came to the rescue and to share the ideas for female domination that you have to try out once you are about to dominate your partner.
Femdom rules and tips
Once you google domination, most of the articles that will appear right away are towards male control over the female submissive. Those posts are not for you — those tips are mostly won’t fit for the female dominating the male. There are a few similarities but stop using it as a guide book.
Female domination differs from male a lot. Regardless of what 50 shades of Grey might put in your head, female domination is sexier than anything else. Females do not reveal the secrets of their own. They keep them a mystery and this mystery gets men so hooked up with the idea. Female will slightly open the curtain to let you see a tiny bit of what’s going on behind and immediately cover it. To become that dominant, you should follow a few simple rules.
Never be “available”
Stay classy and only allow him to see you when you decide so.
Divide your dominant life and regular days
It is easier when you are a dominant who is just seeing a guy and not married to him. When you are a married couple or even a regular couple, you should divide and separate your dominant life and regular days.
Be prepared
Get ready before every domination session. Think in advance what you are going to wear, details of your outfit, toys and props you would need for the scene, and your approximate or exact phrases. What you will do step by step and how you will wrap the scene in the end.
Roleplaying ideas for femdom
As an early bonus, we also got prepared all the main role-playing scenarios for both of you to try it out. Those are just simple examples of what you can take as an idea.
Teacher and the student
The main idea and the entire point is to be a strict teacher who is putting an effort to lead the bad student in the right direction in life. Obviously, you have to punish him a dozen times before.
Nurse and naughty patient
When a nasty patient doesn’t listen to the nurse that is trying to make him feel better, she has to take full control into her hands and teach a patient a good spanking lesson and make him feel pain.
Boss and the secretary
We all know that typical porn videos where he is the boss and she is a secretary who is ready to do anything to please her boss. Who said you can’t swipe these roles. Make him beg for the raise while you do all nasty to him and humiliate now and then.
Gardener and the lonely wife
Bored and demanding housewife that has millions on her bank account decides to have full control of her gardener who recently didn’t satisfy her with the flower choice. She prefers big red roses and not the yellow ones. Either gardener gets fired or does anything his lady orders.
Cop and the robber
You have the right to remain silent. With a gag in your mouth. While the boss lady cop will think what to do with you next. Send you to prison or deal with you on her own in her punishment room, because someone turned out to be a very very bad boy.
Friend’s mother and the roommate
The cougars know best. Make him go down on you for hours so it will be painful to eat the next day. Let him lick your feet if he was a good boy and did a nice job or make him suffer and teach what is the balls’ torture is. He deserves it.
Producer and actor
He is your sex toy for now while you decide if he fits for this part in the TV-show or you can find someone better. Make him beg for your approval and read the script while he pleases you in whatever way you want him to.
Masseuse and the patient
Be gentle at first, relax him completely, and once he is ready to cum make him withdraw his erection and make him hold it till he begs you to stop. Don’t listen to him, though. Make him ready for the dildo instead and order to take it all.
Sex shop seller and a shy buyer
He is shy and naive. He has no idea what he needs to buy. Perfect opportunity to show him how it could be. Selling him dildo and making him such on it will turn him on. Gag reflex can be a bitch but so are you. Show him who is in charge.
Queen and the tramp
Think of this one in advance and prepare the suitable costumes that would fit the fantasy. He can be your little boy who serves Her Majesty or a simple tramp from the woods who is lost and needs the Queen to guide him. Wash off all the dirt and dress him nicely. A few female dresses will do only good.
Passenger and demanding stewardess
Once you are both on the plane, he has nowhere to go. Spill the beverage on his penis area and politely demand to go to the airplane bathroom. He thinks he will get a nice blowjob as an apology. Instead, you will order to eat you and lick you between your but cheeks while he degrades himself.
General and the soldier
When a soldier doesn’t understand simple orders, it is the general’s responsibility to teach him a lesson. Humiliate and show who has a higher rank. The golden shower will do the magic. Make him clean the mess afterward.
Domination scenarios for girlfriend
When both of you are into domination, and he asks you to be him madam — you need to agree. As a girlfriend, there are a few light scenario versions to try out first to see his preferences are without going too far or not too far enough. Besides all those ideas you can use blindfolds, handcuffs, and anything you can find that will make him go crazy. Here are five ideas for female domination to try as a girlfriend.
Domestic service
Domestic service is the basics where you both can start your dom-sub relationship without anything extreme, well yet. You can begin by ordering to clean the bathroom or do the dishes. Provide a lot of dirty dishes or dusty floors, whatever you can come up with.
Now whoop that bitch ass and make him clean it all. Order to dress up in his maid outfit and begin the job because the clock is ticking, and you are close to losing your patience.
Put a collar around his neck, hold to the leash, and make him clean the floor till it’s flawless while you do online shopping and smack the leash when you can see that your bitch isn’t trying hard.
Another way to play this around is to make him do all the housework with the butt plug. After he is done with dishes, like a good boy reward, you can put the butt plug where it belongs, using lots of lube. Once you are done, do whatever you want, leaving him to his duties. You may or may not check up on his done work afterwards. If you do, and he did an excellent job — you can reward him. For instance, he gets a whole 10 minutes to lick your asshole. If he did bad — punish him. Choose the punishments that he likes to avoid unpredicted scenarios.
Sex toy
This idea is simple yet sophisticated. Use your imagination at full speed as long as he stays objectified. This scene is suitable for any scenario when you are in for some play. Use him to the fullest.
It is better to choose the timing when nobody will be bothering you, and there is plenty of time for the playtime, you can approach him in two ways. The one is where you come forward to him and rub your pussy against his hand or fingers, for instance, without him moving for starters.
Another way for you to sit back and relax while commanding him to do what you want. Start with a foot play, making him move upper till he reaches your privates. But don’t give it away. Ask him to use different objects or sex toys to please you. Choose nipple play, add a lot of licking, and don’t forget to give him small rewards every time he is a good boy, as well as punishments. Make them more harsh and longer than rewards.
Get him to prepare all the toys that you want him to use. Play around that he has to guess the toys you want to use for you to give out rewards and punishments after his decisions. Make him take your favorite vibrator and gag on it before penetrating you with it. Here is where you can take all the time in the world to cum, and cum, and cum.
After you are done with him pleasing you with sex toys moves to the actual body to body penetration if that is something you both wish for. Choose the dominant position like being on the top. Use blindfold and handcuffs for more pleasure. Point out that he didn’t deserve to touch you anymore and that he is under your control until you get what you want from him. Here you can also add the orgasm withdraw for him, point that he is here not for his pleasure and that he deserves nothing.
In charge of oral
This idea will point out the focus of you again, and as always, being in charge of his pleasure and orgasms.
This scenario applies to do a lot of jobs yourself, which is also nice to switch to. So once you notify him that today’s the day where you are in charge of oral you should blindfold him after taking his clothes off. Do it slowly, with no rush, paying attention to every item. That will build his sexual tension. You can also add more unexpected spanks throughout the way and most likely face slaps.
It is better to take him to a sitting position — the bed or a couch would be a perfect option. Keep him blindfolded all the time. Meaning you would need to lead him the way. Feel free to be brutal on the way. Spank him, point him to the the wrong directions, and afterwards say that he can’t fo shit without your help.
He made his way, and now you have him right where you need him. Now the game is on you. You can either give him a quick head, making his mind blow away in 2 minutes, or you can take your time. We would suggest the last one. It’s where the most fun you can get.
Start very slowly, barely touch him, maybe even blow the air around his erogenous zones, so he knows you know exactly what to do and what to trigger. An ideal addition is to know your partner’s body language, and once you sense that he is close to coming — stop whatever you were doing. Wait for a couple of minutes and start all over again. Leave him with blue balls a couple of times before he will cum. If he will ejaculate before your permission — punish him well.
This is your doing, in case you don’t want to stick to oral only, you can add whatever it is the preference. It could be dirty talk, pegging, butt plug, rimming, even a little penetration won’t hurt but tease him more. Sit and ride on his face if you feel bored and he has been a good boy, don’t allow him to touch you with anything but his tongue.
Sexual touch aka dominant tease
This scene is quite playful and will be an excellent fit for the first session ever. The rules are quite easy. But first, you have to explain all the rules of domination and submissive partners, as well as the rules of the game.
You blindfold him, you can use propper one or a tie or your panties to make him see nothing. Now lay him down, back or front – your choice, of course, but it would be easier to start when he is on his back. Now his entire body is within your will.
Take a few objects — it can be anything you see around but nothing heavy and preferably with not static shape. Place those objects on him or near his body part that most likely would move once you sensually touch him.
Slightly touch him so his body would react to the touch and move the object. If it moves, he will lose, and you get to punish him or make him do whatever you want. Set the count for his moves. When he moves five times, he loses. Every time before he hits 5, create a small punishment for each time, spanking or a slap should be enough. If he wins, for instance, he can do whatever he wants to you. Set the times for both ways, though.
Verbal humiliation
Before going to the verbal humiliation scene, make sure to talk through with your partner first, as it could trigger some unwanted thoughts in his head. So a good conversation with a part where you are setting all the needed rules is a must here.
This scenario is where the dirty talk is forwarded one way and goes beyond standard dirty talk that we use during regular sex. You need to degrade him. Start with calling him names: bitch, cunt, dirty asshole, worthless piece of shit should work well for starters.
After moving to his genitalia. Here is where you take it out on his penis size and his performances in bed. Point out how small or soft his dick is and that he is a horrible cocksucker in bed. You can say something like you would love to have a man around you finally and not a little pussy like he is. But again, make sure everything you are saying is okay and acceptable by your submissive partner at the moment.
Combine insults and be more forceful with your insults. For instance, instead of using “lick my feet” use “lick my fucking feet, you ass-face!” Don’t use his name, think of three or four degrading nicknames for him, like cocksucker, pathetic fuck-hole, soft dick sucker, etc.
Last but not least, do not be afraid to shout. Do not lower your voice if not needed. You should be heard loud and clear, and your voice should always sound like the order.
Scenarios for wifey
This category is for more familiar partners who have been together for a while now. Since the first time you’ve tried to spice things up, you’ve evolved and not you are ready to upgrade your level of domination and submissive relationship. We put together five awesome ideas for you to try. Keep in mind that you can mix it all up and add role-playing scenarios.
Bondage
This is not even for femdom ideas but for every possible couple that is out there. The only difference is how well prepared you are and how far you are willing to take it. This is up to you.
If you haven’t tried anything from female domination before — bondage can be a helpful approach to bring the topic to the bedroom.
Now let’s dive into more bondage details. Before you do anything in person — do a good online research first. You should know the basics of all the possible knots that will catch your attention. Then, again, before trying them on your partner it is better to try it by yourself. Practice them so you won’t get into an uncomfortable position where you have no idea how to untie your man. Won’t look very dominant.
You can begin by tying up his wrists and ankles. Could be together or separate — the choice is up to you. Also, try to be creative with what you use for bondage. You can go to the store and buy all the pretty leather stuff or use household objects and items of clothing. For instance, use your stockings or his tie; both versions are classy and sophisticated enough.
Foot worship
What can be sexier than a man is in a child’s pose on the floor and licking your new shiny high heels? So if you always wanted to buy those stripper heels — this is your chance. Because of the very high heel and the platform, you will seem much taller and more dominant in those. Plus, it has open toes so you can play around where you order him to lick only shoes and then toes. If you feel his lips or saliva on your shin – you punish him.
Foot fetish is more of a reward than a punishment, so think through what your punishment would be when he will mess up, or you decide that he deserves a good spanking or else what.
You can choose any footwear that you prefer, especially when you are role-playing. The entire outfit should be thought through.
Making him degrade himself
Another category where you should have a chit-chat before you start the scene. Making him degrade himself might seem close to the time where you degrade him but still different and can have another impact on the person. After all is sorted out, and you have a green light, here is what you should try.
Make him beg you. Beg literally for anything possible. He should be begging for pegging, masturbation, make him beg you for a kiss and a butt plug. Whatever he does, he needs to beg for — simple things, like going to the bathroom or having permission to talk more.
He has to apologize for anything. He picked the dildo in a way you didn’t like — he apologizes. He didn’t show too much enthusiasm while he was gagging on his dildo — he has to apologize. If that apology didn’t sound sincere — you know what he has to do. He has to mean every damn excuse, and if he doesn’t he gets punished.
Your sub should be thankful. Not thanksgiving thankful but for every little detail. For instance, thank you, my Queen, for allowing me to be near your feet and be able to kiss them. Teach him to be thankful for his Queen.
And since he is thankful to you, you should allow your pet also to confess. Here is where he can be honest and talk about his deeper fantasies and how dirty he wants to get. Meanwhile, you keep telling him that he is a bad boy. He should agree and do all of the above. Once he will have nothing to tell — punish him.
Deep throat training
Would need to have his consent, but so worth it. This is the time where to take your strapon out and put it on fancy. Sit down in the armchair and relax while your naughty boy is on his knees doing his best to suck that huge dildo.
If you sense that he is not working on sucking it well, you should show him how. And by how we mean to grab his hair and fuck his mouth, do it harsh and deep till you hear that beautiful gag reflex sound. Don’t worry, he can take it. Besides grabbing him and making work on that dick, you must maintain eye contact. When looking from the above on him, it makes him feel small, just like a nasty little bitch he is.
If you hear him complain that the dildo is too big — punish him and then make him suck it even harder. You are the boss, and he has no right to question your words. Make it also challenging for him. For example, don’t let him use his hands, make him keep them behind or show how good he can play around that dildo with his tongue. Whatever you can think of.
Pegging aka dildo play
This play is for big boys only. Meaning, you should be in the mood for it. Both of you.
Before you start, though, you should discuss a few important moments. First of all, the stop word, the next step is the limits of your partner. You should respect his boundaries.
Now that everything is settled, time to pick the dildo for him. If you never had it before, you should pick something medium size and lots of lube. If that’s not his first time receiving and you want to upgrade — get him something big and close to the real penis shape that you can also use to degrade him during pegging.
Before starting, make him a little more relaxed and dominate him around your body. After all, he should deserve his pegging. And what’s a better way to do it than to please his Dominatrix.
While you are penetrating him, degrade him physically. Use a belt as a leash around his neck or simple hair pull might show him your power over him. Spank his ass too, use your hand, or dildo that you are pegging him with or the belt that fits well around his neck.
Add lots of lube that will make it easier for both of you.
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Extreme ideas
Now we are ready to tell you about the top 5 extreme ideas for female domination. All these five ideas should be discussed before you try them in real life with your partner. Don’t feel ashamed to bring these up, we are sure your submissive had some of them slip his mind like a thousand times. Communicate with your partner to get to know his limits on each idea to make him enjoy it and not be scarred for life. Not to the more pleasant subjects.
Forced feminization
A lot, a lot, and a lot of men have wondered at least once how would that feel to wear female panties or stockings. It doesn’t make them gay, drag queen or anything else but curious. With this idea, we force feminization on the submissive, and here is how you do it.
You force him to wear female clothing items. One of the most degrading humiliations for a straight man and very much worth it. You can wear them as you like, just like playing with a doll and make him do whatever you want. Try to combine a few ideas together. For instance, you can degrade him by making him wear female clothing and clean the house like a real-time maid.
Golden showers
Most od dom sub couples are using it as a punishment — effective and humiliating punishment we would say. But it also can be the main course dish.
If you are just trying this idea out, you can add this as a punishment in another scenario. Although, before actually peeing on him, you may try to punish him and pee on the floor. Afterwards, make him lick you out and clean the damn mess.
Next session, you can do the same or evaluate and pee on his chest first. Building it up slowly to him to be ready mentally that you will pee on his face. Or you can pee on his face right away if he is mentally ready in your conversation before the session. Works well too.
Cock and balls torture
You can find a lot of these topics around the Internet. Entire scenario depending on your relationship with submissive and how far you guys want to go. He has to be as much into it as you are, but the rules for cock and balls torture are quite similar.
Squeezing is number one. Take his balls in your hand and squeeze while looking at him and his reaction. The same works for his penis, throw a little or a lot of dirty talks and he is begging for more already.
Slapping which is simple enough. You can control how hard you want to go. If you’re going to make the most of it hold his balls with one hand and do the slapping with the other. That way it will be a steady target for you. To evaluate – add punching. pretty much the same
Kicking. Uff, this is a good one and harsh. Make sure to kick him in the balls right after you penetrated his asshole. That would spice things up for him and a great release for you.
Cuckolding
When you are ready to go all the way — cuckolding is the thing you try. It means to have sex with another man while your partner has to watch. To make it even more extreme, forbid him to watch, but use his other senses.
This could be a tricky fantasy, so you should set the bar first. For example, slowly evaluate from you dressing up sexy and go out to flirt with men, while your partner listens to all of it, pretending not to know you. And continue till you take one of those men home with you. Swingers club could be a good start.
Public humiliation
We will point out again, that before any of those fantasies, you should talk them through with your partner. Especially those that consider his and your mental health.
Public humiliation needs preparation, but there are so many ways that we know and are willing to share that doesn’t involve much of violating human boundaries. For instance, before you are going out for lunch, a walk, anything you want to do outside of your place, play around with him and put a butt plug in his tiny ass. Order not to wear any underwear and go out.
The other idea for public humiliation is shopping — that simple. You can go to the lingerie stores to pick up some very female underwear for him later. If there is no one around you — make him go and try outfits in the fitting room and occasionally remind him that he is your little bitch and keep telling him what you are going to do to him. Depend on his current behavior, rewards or punishment — up to you. Even if he was a good boy, who said you couldn’t punish him just because you felt like it.
You can take it all the way too. Take him to a public place, like a park or restaurant — choose some further districts, where you won’t run into someone you know — and fight with him. Scream at him, give him slaps on the face. If you are both comfortable with it, make him kiss your shoes in front of everybody as an apology.
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Users at FetLife are here for a reason and they are determinants to find like-minded people and to learn a thing or two about fetishes that they’ve tried or craving to.
- Age distribution. You have to be 18 years old to join the website and become a member. the majority of users on the website are between 25 and 35 years old.
- Fakes and scammers. The platform doesn’t have that many fake profiles while we were checking it out because of not very typical sexual preferences as most scammers would use. People here are open and connected with their kinky souls. Yet if you feel like someone doesn’t fit – repost the profile and block it.
Interface
★★☆☆☆
The design of the website is modern and sophisticated. The main theme is black which makes everything somehow naughty. The website is easy to navigate and find all you need in a few clicks.
- Signing up. The registration will take you a few minutes. All you would need is a valid email address and a phone number to verify your account. No social media links needed.
- Profile. The profiles at FetLife are very detailed and give you as much information as you can possibly need about one person that you meet online. Since the platform is for kinky preferences, it is better for you to add as much info as required. So basically, you have 6 tabs that you can fill in. You put down your relationship status and what you are looking for in here, short or not very short information about yourself. Add info about the person you are looking for and links that will even more specifically what you are into kinky-wise. Upload photos and videos to your profile and you are pretty much done. You can change the information as often as you would like to.
- Searching. The main search engine here is according to your kinks. But also you can specify the age, sex, and other details at the explore tab.
- Chat. Receiving and sending out messages are free of charge for all the users regarding their membership. Chatting looks more like the email though than the regular chats that we used to see.
- Mobile app. The apps are available for iOS and Android users. Nearly 70% of users prefer to use the app over the desktop. All the features are the same as the website offers. Though we would suggest being aware of your surroundings while opening the app, there are a lot of nude photos and kinky videos will appear.
Security and privacy
★★★☆☆
Even the first step of the registration is more secure than other platforms. To verify your account you would need to provide your valid email and phone number. None of the social links required so you can keep things private.
Hookup chance
★★★★☆
The chances of success are quite high with FetLife. People here are open-minded and are in the same kinky stuff as you are. This way you guys can find a lot of in common and move from the fantasy online world into reality and make all those fantasies come true.
Matching algorithm
The searching tab will help you to narrow down the possible matches according to your personal and sexual preferences.
FAQ
How do I dominate my partner if I love him?
If your partner expresses interest in being submissive, you should consider his honesty and open-minded nature. Do the research first. Try out things slowly, you might come to like it and enjoy it as well. Keep in mind that domination and submissive relationship will not be the entire lifestyle but sessions that will be arranged and talked through in advance. Taking care of your men the way he likes it — is showing him love.
Is it common for men to want to be submissive?
No, it is not that common as, for instance, as the male domination, although it is not that small either.
Is femdom the same in real life and porn?
Let’s not forget that that porn has montage and actors. You see people jump into hardcore stuff right away when in real life, you need to take thing slowly and build the dominant and submissive relationship step by step.
Differences between punishment and discipline
